A Recap on our main topic on my weekly Conference Call Conversations and Support for Targeted Individuals Sunday 7.20.14 @ 2pm pst. – Phone Number: (724) 444-7444 Call ID: 114616
Topic: Family Betrayal
Family Betrayal can be one of the most painful experiences a person ever lives through. When you are targeted and literally tortured and hurt by so many outsiders it can be devastating to realize your very own family members may be involved in your targeting. At times your family members may display behavior that mimic the behavior of your perpetrators and will lead you to believe they are involved.
We discussed the following scenarios based on one of the callers belief that a few of her family members are involved in her targeting.
Scenario #1 – The family member that you were once extremely close to, suddenly shuns you, he/she won’t talk to you or come around you. He/she won’t offer an explanation as to why they won’t deal with you, they just won’t. You don’t necessarily notice them using any targeting tactics on you, the relationship has just simply died without any explanation. You miss that family member and are hurt by the sudden change.
Conclusion: This family member may have been contacted by the perpetrators and may have even been told a smear campaign on the target. He/she may not want to be involved with targeting their relative so chooses to keep their distance but withholds information from the target. You may never get an explanation or the closure you need.
Scenario #2 – With this family member you are more than sure they are actively involved in your targeting. When you are around them they use some of the same tactics on you as the Perpetrators use such as stalking, gas lighting, torment, rejection, sabotage, and other abuses. You have no doubt they have become a perpetrator.
Conclusion: They may have been paid off or threatened to target you.
It is hurtful to fathom that blood relatives may have betrayed you but it’s best to not be in denial about what is happening. A perpetrator is a perpetrator and all of them have the potential to cause you great harm. If you’re sure your loved ones are involved in your targeting, it’s probably best to love from a distance.
We also reviewed the article: How to Forgive a Family Betrayal: By Carola Finch: eHow.com
A family betrayal has a tremendous emotional impact on the person who has been hurt.
When a family member betrays you, you may feel heartbroken, angry, grieved, sad and confused. When you come to the point that you are able to accept the betrayal, you can begin the process of forgiving the family member for what they have done. Forgiveness is a conscious choice to let go of resentment, anger and a desire for revenge against the family member who hurt you. When these negative emotions are released, forgiveness can lead you to better physical and emotional health and a restored relationship with the family member who betrayed you, if desired.
1. Analyze the betrayal and determine if you have some responsibility in the situation. This approach will help you to understand your feelings and identify misperceptions about the family member’s behavior. Acknowledge your faults and mistakes.
2. Feel compassion for yourself and the person who betrayed you. Compassion towards yourself will help you heal from the trauma of the betrayal by taking your focus away from your mistakes and negative feelings and focus on the more positive aspects of your life.
3. Hold the family person responsible for the actions that hurt and betrayed you and don’t minimalise or deny the emotional impact of the betrayal. Your decision to forgive does not excuse the family member’s behavior. The family member’s betrayal will always be a part of your life, but the effects will lessen over time.
4. Motivate yourself to forgive by focusing on your need to heal rather than helping the other person. View forgiveness as a way to release yourself from resentment and emotional pain. Think about the positive benefits of forgiveness like less stress, lower blood pressure, decreased hostility, lower risk of substance abuse and overall psychological well being with less symptoms of anxiety or depression.
5. Fight a personal resistance to forgive with action, such as writing in a journal, prayer or meditation. Talk to a friend, counselor or impartial family member about the betrayal. Remember the times that you hurt other people and received forgiveness.
6. Decide whether you can reconcile or interact with the family member who betrayed you. Respect the decision you have made. If the person who betrayed you is not in your immediate family, expect that you may run into the family member on special occasions and family gatherings. You can choose to attend and experience awkwardness and intense emotions or not go.
7. Look upon the family betrayal is a opportunity to learn new things about yourself and life. Stop thinking of yourself as a victim.